Nothing on these pages are the thoughts or opinions of myself, my company, my friends. All rights reserved. You may not make a profit from it or include it in commercial publications without written permission from © 1994-2010 Copyright by D&M Fitzgerald, Inc.....
Copyright laws for specific humor applies wherever noted or not noted. This page is subject to change without notice; Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this page is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; page is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; an equal opportunity HTML page maker; no shoes, no shirt, no entry; quantities are limited while supplies last; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return ;read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain material some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; smoking this page may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text used in this page are made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of this page; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a HTML page maker; this page is ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; page offer valid only at participating WWW sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other Acts of God, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, customer adjustments that are not covered in this page, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply.

Offense is one sided, open up and enjoy the other side!